“Love Your Neighbor As Yourself”
What Does this mean?
Sermon for Sunday September 7, 2008
1. Good Morning. Let’s pray . . . O Lord, may the words of my mouth and the meditations of our hearts be pleasing to You O Lord, our Rock and our Redeemer. Amen.
2. Opening comments: Let me ask us all a fundamental question. Now I’m not asking for your response but I am asking you to ask yourself this question and see what sort of answer your “self” gives you back OK? ha! Here’s the question: Do you love yourself? Do you love your . . . self?
I’m asking that question because St. Paul challenged us in our Second Reading this morning to do just that when he said, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Have you ever really pondered what that statement meant? Well this morning we’re going to take a more in depth look at this fascinating commandment – for that’s actually what it is.
Listen once again to that Second Reading first from the NIV and then from the Message:
Rom. 13:8
Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another You see this debt can never be fully paid – it’s always owing – the debt to love is always a debt – it can never be paid off. Let’s read on: Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. 9 The commandments, “Do not commit adultery,” “Do not murder,” “Do not steal,” “Do not covet,” and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 10 Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
Now listen to these verses from the paraphrase entitled “The Message:”
Rom. 13:8
Don’t run up debts, except for the huge debt of love you owe each other. When you love others, you complete what the law has been after all along. 9 The law code—don’t sleep with another person’s spouse, don’t take someone’s life, don’t take what isn’t yours, don’t always be wanting what you don’t have, and any other “don’t” you can think of—finally adds up to this: Love other people as well as you do yourself. 10 You can’t go wrong when you love others. When you add up everything in the law code, the sum total is love.
What Paul is saying here is that if we love others as we love ourselves we will not have to worry about complying with the Old Testament law because love – real love – will lead us inevitably to comply with all of the law.
This is an amazingly majestic statement don’t you think?
If we love others as we love ourselves we won’t steal another person’s spouse from them, we won’t kill another, we won’t steal anything from anybody, we won’t want what we don’t have and so on! Real love will compel us to honor the marriage covenant, to treasure life, to honor another’s property, and to be content with what we have.
Wow! I think we’ve probably just been told one of the most important things we could ever be told – to love – to really love is to fulfill God’s law – God’s requirements of us! If we can love – really love – then there will be nothing separating us from each other and from God!
What’s the Beatle’s song – “All Ya Need Is Love . . Love – All ya need is love!” They were right!
Why then is loving others so darn hard – so difficult?
3. Focusing in: Let’s look a little deeper into all of this shall we?
We need to focus in on the key verse: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
Love your neighbor – that I can understand but the standard for that degree of love is the extent to which I love myself?
Self-love sounds wrong don’t you think? When you ask most of us the question I began this reflection with – most of us squirm a little.
Do you love yourself – and how much! We’ve just discovered that this really is an important question because it is a measure of how much we will be able to love – really love in a healthy way – others.
Let me put this in another way – you and I cannot love anyone else if we don’t love ourselves. If we don’t love ourselves then we will often need others to fill up this gap.
Have you ever noticed that those of us who don’t seem to love ourselves are often considered “needy?” And I think most of us know what this looks like. Needy people seem always to either implicitly or explicatively be demanding of our repeated expression of love for them.
People who constantly need to be told how much we love them drain us. They are fundamentally draining. Their demands of love are like a bottomless pit – which can never be filled.
And the reason for this is that they fundamentally don’t love themselves.
4. Love – So we’re talking about love – what is “love – real love” then?
Let’s really take a look at this love that St. Paul is speaking about.
The Greek word being used here is “Agape” and it means a disinterested and infinitely generous love, full of thoughtfulness and concern. It’s in this sense that God loves!
It needs also be noted that this kind of love is always demonstrated – it’s not just a word or an academic description – it’s an action word. When it’s used it infers action – something that must be done to reach its fullest meaning! Agape love always acts. It’s a love that can be absolutely counted on to act! It’s never under question – will it or won’t it? It always will . . . love!
It’s God’s love and it’s this love that we’re being challenged to adopt in our response to ourselves first and others second. Indeed, it’s claimed that to the extent that we can “agape” ourselves will be the extent to which we can love others.
Obviously the best model for this kind of love is Jesus Himself. In the Gospel of Mark we read:
Mark 10:21
Jesus looked at the young man and loved him. And “agaped” him!
Jesus loves with the love St. Paul is challenges us to love ourselves and others with. . .
It’s a love that once we have it for ourselves we will be able to give it to others and no longer demand from the world what it can never give us.
There’s not enough stuff in the world that can fill up the gap that agape fills up in us.
Let me put that another way . . . God created us restless until we rest in His love. Once we are at rest in His love we can then love others with this love.
Without this love we have a hole in us that is insatiable and we will try sadly to fill it up with anything and everything that looks or feels even remotely like it.
5. A Story. I want to tell you a story that will perhaps throw more light on this reflection.
Most of you will have heard this story but it’s one of those stories that seems to grow richer with it’s telling again and again.
I once had an old friend by the name of Mrs. Toogood. I visited her when I was going through my difficult adolescent years. Once a week I would sit with this wonderful old lady and just talk and listen.
Towards the end of our time together I discovered that she had been awarded the O.B.E. – the Order of the British Empire - and could now be referred to as Dame Gladys Toogood. She had been given this most prestigious award by the Queen because of her work with the homeless in Brisbane.
. . . and so Mrs. Toogood explained that the religious artifacts on the wall were her “redeemed men” – the ones who had left the streets and found their places in society.
When I asked her what made the difference she explained:
“Robert, it wasn’t that the men couldn’t feel my love – they could, but it was the ones who found it inside of themselves to ‘return’ my love who were destined to leave the streets.”
Ah! Did you hear that – when they could “love back” – this was the indicator, indeed, the very thing, that was proof that they were leaving the streets.
You see when they could give – agape love – remember “agape” love always acts! When they could give love back to Mrs. Toogood they were becoming what they were created to be – they were becoming what God created them to be. No longer living with that gaping hole but living with that hole filled!
But this story is not only about the men who learned how to love back – it’s also about the kind of love that elicits this kind of response.
Mrs. Toogood loved “HER” men and they knew it. She didn’t just serve them as a good Christian should! It’s wasn’t about her service . . . all of this is testimony to her love – a love that draws the best out of those she loves.
Truly her love helped these men discover not an illusion about themselves – NO! Mrs. Toogood’s love helped these men discover who they really were.
In her love these men were able to see themselves. Let me say that again – these men were able to see themselves in the light of her love – see themselves perhaps as they had never seen themselves before. They were able to see their true selves – the true self that God created them to be and it’s only in the luminescent light of sincere love that they can be seen and in which the true self can blossom!
This sort of love – loves! It overflows!
6. So what does this mean for you and me?
Have you ever felt this sort of love from anyone in your life? A love that drew the best out in you?
Now for the hard question – do you love like this? Is your love generous? Do people love to be near you? Do you call out the best in people?
And finally do you love yourself with the sort of love that isn’t arrogant or demanding but rather with that kind of love that expects your best and draws it out?
If you’re like me you know that there is something here that God wants to teach you.
Or perhaps you’re happy right where you are and the thought of change is just too too much to contemplate?
No! Let’s change – Let’s grow up - Let’s love ourselves as God loves us and let’s love others with this love!
Let’s pray . . .
Amen!